By
Amy Raphael
17:00 EST, 7 December 2013
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17:00 EST, 7 December 2013
Nearly drowning? Didn’t faze her. Suffering cancer? Didn’t throw her. This comedian isn’t prone to panic – her problem is procrastination. Which she’d get round to tackling… if only ‘someone important’ would make it a bona fide disease
‘I’m very calm. I’d be good in a war because I don’t panic. Things can go wrong and I immediately try to fix them rather than panic about the wrongness,’ said Jennifer Saunders
What is your earliest memory?
I nearly drowned when I was a toddler. I clearly remember being under the water. I’d fallen straight through my rubber ring and was sitting on the bottom of the pool. I looked up to see the ring floating above me. I felt immensely calm, which is bizarre. Many of my early memories are of accidents. Being hit on the head by my brother throwing a brick. Or falling into a bed of cacti…
What sort of child were you?
I was a tomboy. I was dressed in exactly the same clothes as my three brothers. I never wanted a dress, never understood the point of pink. I was quiet. I used to stare. My parents would lose me in a restaurant, only to find me at someone else’s table. I’d be looking at these strangers in rather a creepy way.
What has been your biggest achievement?
Growing fingernails. I have tried all my life not to bite my nails. Now that I have them, I’ve become slightly obsessed. I apply lots of nail varnish and eat that instead of my nails. I hope it’s not toxic.
… and your biggest disappointment?
‘I wish someone really important would admit to procrastination and turn it into a disease,’ she said
It’s also a blessing in disguise. Dawn [French] and I were desperate to have Madonna on French And Saunders. She never made it, which is probably just as well. Often you fixate over these big stars and you finally get them and you find it’s too much work.
Who would be your dream dinner date?
It’d be easy to say a really good-looking man such as George Clooney, but what if we didn’t have anything to talk about? So I’d choose David Sedaris. I absolutely love his books and his way of thinking. He’s so funny that I’d never be bored. I’d have the best night just chatting to him over a few glasses of wine.
What’s your best character trait?
I’m very calm. I’d be good in a war because I don’t panic. Things can go wrong and I immediately try to fix them rather than panic about the wrongness. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009 I had to give myself time to be calm. You have to sit and let your head work out what is happening.
… and what’s your worst?
Procrastination. I wish someone really important would admit to procrastination and turn it into a disease and then there would be a treatment centre. Why couldn’t Michael Douglas have had procrastination instead of sex addiction?
What’s your biggest fear?
Losing my funny bones. To suddenly become serious would be devastating. I first realised I was funny when I met Dawn while I was still at the Central School of Speech and Drama. I needed Dawn to give me trust. A licence to be funny.
What are you best at, and what would you like to be better at?
I’m really practical. I can fix anything. I like being able to fix things and find things. I can mend fence posts or a piece of tack – now I’m talking country things and horses. If something falls off a wall I really enjoy the task of finding a solution. I’d like to be better at dancing and doing sporty things. I wish I had that voice in my head that said, ‘Come on! You can do it!’ instead of the voice that says, ‘Have a cup of coffee and relax.’
‘I first realised I was funny when I met Dawn (French) while I was still at the Central School of Speech and Drama. I needed Dawn to give me trust. A licence to be funny,’ said Jennifer
What or who do you dream about?
I dream most about things not being done. As a child I used to dream about not having done my homework and then wake up in the morning not having done my homework.
Who do you most admire?
My mother. I admire her strength and her ability to get on with things. She got through her stroke and my dad dying with such grace and humour. And I hugely admire Joanna Lumley because she takes time to be nice to everybody.
What’s the worst thing that anyone has ever said to you?
‘You can’t dance.’ I was 19 or 20 at a Ruby Turner gig in Covent Garden. Ever since I’ve become very stilted in my dancing.
Biggest fear? ‘Losing my funny bones. To suddenly become serious would be devastating,’ she said
Which living person do you most despise?
Terrorists and murderers and women who starve their children.
Describe the best night of your life?
On holiday on the Amalfi coast, in Italy. My three daughters come with their various husbands, boyfriends and children. Sitting on a terrace looking out towards Capri, drinking wine with peaches cut into it, eating good food and having a laugh.
When did you last feel really happy?
I was happy recently when I did an event at the Royal Festival Hall for my autobiography with Clare Balding. The audience was lovely. I’m happy if I’m on stage and people are laughing.
Who would you like to say sorry to and why?
When I was at school there was a girl in my class we used to make fun of. I think her name was Christine. I got caught up in that little nasty moment of making fun of someone who really didn’t deserve it.
How would you like to be remembered?
Every comedian just wants to be remembered as being funny. For making people feel better for having a laugh.
‘Bonkers: My Life In Laughs’ is out now (Viking £20). To order your copy at the special price of £16.99 with free pp call the Event Bookstore on 0844 472 4157 or go to mailbookshop.co.uk
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best1,
leeds, United Kingdom,
1 hour ago
It might be more of a shock if she suddenly became funny.
Grytpype Thynne,
Little Toddington-on-sea,
29 minutes ago
Couldn’t agree more, I think she only became successful because she was married to Rick Mayall who really IS funny
TG,
Bristol, United Kingdom,
moments ago
Shows what you know she’s not married to Rik Mayall!
bobinky,
Leicester,
1 hour ago
Seems to have become very vocal lately on many matters.Why do actors/musicians think because they are famous for one thing we all need to know their thoughts on others.
Stick to writing comedy,your decent at it.
Jaynesgrandma,
Northampton, United Kingdom,
44 minutes ago
Well, she has stuck to writing. Her book is out now.
Penny,
London, United Kingdom,
9 hours ago
Loved her book… She’s adorable!
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Article source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/event/article-2518857/Jennifer-Saunders-Im-afraid-losing-funny-bones-To-suddenly-devastating.html